There is a certain rhythm that develops with every negotiation.
Sometimes, for example, I find myself physically "leaning in" towards
the party with whom I'm working. Sometimes, when I think I need a
position of authority, I stand as I enter a room, whereas at other times
I invite the parties to sit alongside me, suggesting by my position
that "this may take awhile". Even the parlaying of offers and
counter-offers can be fast or slow, laced with a lengthy explanation or
just conveyed through numbers.
Some of you may know that a couple
of weeks ago I stumbled and broke my right foot. This meant that the
last 4 mediations which I have conducted have been completely different
than any that have preceded them. Unable to walk or stand on two legs, I
have stayed seated, at the head of a conference table and invited the
parties to come back and forth to me for every discussion. I have spent
four full days with this new experiment and here are my reflections.
Last
week, it was extremely difficult as I felt I had little control over
the negotiations. I was unable to casually enter either room or whisper
my ideas in the hallways as I may have in a "normal mediation". I was
dependent upon other mediators to usher folks in and out or, in one
case, asked the counsel to advise one another when it was "their turn".
But this week, assisted by a couple of well-trained Southern California
Mediation Association's "mentees", my mediations went much more
smoothly. Now, when I stand in place (assisted with the walkers, crutch
or mentee), the disputants know that I am "in command", and when I
wheel myself to their room for a final "closing" discussion on my new
knee scooter, they are so appreciative of my effort that they listen
attentively and are much more deferential than when my two legs dance
over under ordinary circumstances. I have learned to accommodate to the
rhythm as necessary, and more importantly to stay in tune with the
rhythm of the music in new and interesting ways.
I am sure there
are many lessons which I will learn in this summer of non-weight
bearing, but in the dance of negotiation, I have learned that it is
possible to use the change in dynamics to effectively move the parties
towards a resolution, even on one foot.
How do you use the physical movements in your mediation to achieve settlement?